Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are your pants in the freezer?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize