She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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