Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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