super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
