i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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