ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
