What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
