yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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