Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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