Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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