i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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