I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
