how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Randomize
