I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
