Can i not drive my cunt home
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
