your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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