And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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