farters have to be the big spoon...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
