WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
