I think scott just propositioned me for sex
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
