Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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