Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You were trust falling into bushes
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize