I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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