I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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