One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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