I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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