if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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