so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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