Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy

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(302): View more from Delaware

I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain

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(803): View more from South Carolina

you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.

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(631): View more from New York

He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"

(612): View more from Minnesota

Drunk you is pretty stunner.

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(587): View more from Alberta

Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.

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(+61): View more from Australia

Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol

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(702): View more from Nevada

Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride

(702): View more from Nevada

Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding

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