just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
