I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
