But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
