You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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