Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
