Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
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He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
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Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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