i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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