Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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