Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
