using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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