I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize