That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
