i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
