Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
