so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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