he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
