You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
she pinky promised me she was 18
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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