Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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