3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
