i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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