Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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