BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
