You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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