Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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