turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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