its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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