omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
